Professor Xavier's Tales Of Caution: Volume One
by Commander Salamander
Summary: Remy an' de Ladies.


Professor Xavier's Tales Of Caution

A/N: Set after Season Four. Also this is the new and hopefully improved version.  
  
Remy an' de Ladies.  
  
The Professor rolled in to the common room. You could tell it was almost time for bed as all the little X-men were either in their cute little pyjamas or almost asleep. If anyone asked which one of them he loved the most he would have to say all of them, but he loved them especially more when they were asleep.  
He watched them all for a moment before a marvellous plan came into his head. He would tell them something so insidious and life improving that they would immediately go to bed and leave him to watch his Spanish soap operas. He flirted briefly with telling them about tomorrows events and training schedules but that would ruin his fun for the next morning. No, the Professor decided. I will tell them a story with a moral in it, that's bound to make them go to bed.

So he cleared his throat and stepped his fingers. The X-men in the room looked around at him.  
"Are we all little sleepy heads?" asked the Professor sweetly.  
Those who were dosing sat up at once.  
"No!" cried Kitty, Kurt, Bobby and Logan defensively.  
"You're not?" said Xavier surprised.  
Well you're soon going to be! He thought with a grin.  
"Ok then." He looked around at them. "Does anyone want to hear a story?"  
"Yay! A story!" they all cried.  
"Is it like the stories you watch on the TV Professor?" asked Kitty innocently.  
"Ah erm...no."  
"What kinda story is it then?"  
"A special story for some special little people." Replied Xavier with a benevolent smile.  
The X-men all smiled that warm, special smile that little people make when they are told that they're special.  
"What's the story called Professor?" asked a cross-legged Scott on the floor in front of him.  
Xavier smiled.  
"Its called 'Remy an' de Ladies.'" He said gently tousling Scott's hair.  
And so the Professor began...  
  
"One day, just before breakfast..."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Look fer th' last time Swamp rat no!" Snarled Rogue.  
"But Chere it only one little ting. I'm no' askin' much."  
"Ah said no!"  
More angry conversation echoed down the hall and into the breakfast room. The occupants sat, almost enthralled by it. Occasionally Kurt and Kitty exchanged glances, and then they would burst out into fits of giggles.  
  
---------------------  
  
"Oh I'm in the story!" squealed Kitty excitedly.  
"Me too!" squealed a just as excited Kurt.  
  
---------------------  
  
Hank looked over the top of the newspaper at them. There was a moment of silence. But he too succumbed and gently laughing went back to reading an article.  
"Ow!"  
"Well that'll teach ya fer tryin' to touch me!"  
"i didn't do anytin'!"  
"Fer cryin' out loud get out of mah face!"  
Scott shook his head; he was really getting tired of this. He voiced his disapproval.  
"Boy I'm really getting tired of this. How many days has it been now?"  
Jean giggled and then replied demurely. "Five days now."  
Scott heaved a sigh. He liked breakfast to be a quiet time for reflection, plus he couldn't hear his rice bubble crackling and that was just wrong.  
  
----------------------  
  
"Well it is wrong, not being able to hear your own rice bubbles." Said Scott with crossed arms.  
"Shhhh! That's enough from you lot. I can't hear!" rumbled Logan.  
"ok." The rest of them said quietly.  
"That's better."  
  
----------------------  
  
Rogue stormed into the room. And on her way in slammed the door in the face of the person behind her. There was a thump.  
"Ouch." Said the person in an injured tone.  
Rogue ignored it and went around to the far side of the table and sat down next to Kitty with a slice of toast. It was buttered viscously.  
Then there was silence, except for the crunching of toast and the crackling of cereal.  
Finally the door opened a crack and a head poked around it. Remy held his nose.  
"Cheri really hurt me dis time." Whimpered Remy hurt. "See I'm bleedin'."  
He pointed to his face, then Remy had a small brainwave. A smile spread across his face.  
"Maybe Chere could, perhaps kiss poor ol' Remy's nose better?"  
Rogue gave him a look that would have shattered glass.  
"Drop dead." She said simply.  
"Ok, maybe Cheri don' want to talk abou' anytin' at de moment. I understan', not everyone is a mornin' person."  
Remy then beat a hasty retreat.  
Rogue sat silently and ground the last surviving piece of toast up with her hand.  
Kurt moved his hand toward Rogue's in order to pat it comforting like when she snapped.  
"MEN!" She bellowed and banged her fist against the table.  
"Err..." said Scott.  
"What is your problem, Summers?" she snarled in reply.  
"Nothing." And with that grabbed his bowl and went somewhere else where the soothing sounds of snapping, crackling and popping could be enjoyed.  
A significant look in Kurt's direction also prompted a quick retreat on his part too.  
  
-------------------------  
  
"This is where I give helpful advice and a helpful hand." Said Jean knowingly.  
"Hush, you'll ruin the story." Admonished Xavier.  
  
------------------------  
  
Jean looked down the table at the two girls. Kitty was trying but she wasn't exactly doing anything to calm down Rogue. Jean moved down the table to sit with them. Rogue eyed her.  
"What?" She said.  
"Men are scum." Jean said happily.  
After a short silence Rogue said "Yeah."  
Kitty's demeanour changed in a flash.  
"Totally." She said darkly.  
They all sighed together.  
And then all together. "... But oh so cute."  
They all sighed again and rested their heads against their hands. It was a subject that required a lot of contemplation.  
"So are you going to say yes?" asked Jean in a far-away voice.  
"Yeah...No! What! There is no way that Ah'm going to have anythin' to do wit that Cajun!" cried Rogue a little too quickly.  
Jean and Kitty exchanged glances.  
"Uh huh." Replied Kitty sceptically.  
Rogue looked at them in surprise.  
"Yew two are not serious! He almost got me killed the last time Ah went anywhere with him. Uh Ah'm not going to give 'im the chance to do anythin'. Besides Logan would kill me And Ah don't really think that Ah need more training in the danger room than Ah already have."  
A calculating smile appeared on Jean's face.  
"That was nice excuse you managed to put in there."  
"Ah don't know what you're talking' about."   
"I've been doing psychology Rogue, you're avoiding."  
"No Ah'm not."  
Jean raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh all right Ah am." Grumbled Rogue.  
She crossed her arms and closed her eyes.  
"But so what."  
  
The girls sat and pondered over Rogue's situation. Finally they came across an answer.  
"I know!" Cried Kitty excitedly.  
"What?!" Cried the others.  
"You could say yes!"  
"No!" snapped Rogue. "Ah thought we were thinkin' of ways to get me out of this mess, not in even further!"  
"Why not?" mumbled Kitty dejectedly.  
"Because then he'll never leave me alone!"  
"oh."  
  
There was more pondering. That was until Jean came up with an idea. But neither Rogue nor Kitty thought it would be a good idea.  
"Sorry there Jean, as much as Ah'd like the idea of maiming the Swamp rat and then pretending it wasn't me, Ah think the Professor would smell a rat. He did say after all that the Cajun was off limits."  
Jean and Kitty thought about this, Rogue was right. The Professor had said that hurting the ex-acolytes would result in stern punishment. Logan had learnt that the hard way...  
"Yeah Ok." Jean admitted finally  
"It was a good plan."  
"Thanks."

The three sat for a little while longer. Kitty had another brainwave.  
"You could say yes!" She cried.  
"Haven't we already gone over that one before?" grunted Rogue irritability.  
"Ahhhh, but you haven't heard the second part of my plan."  
"Well?"  
"Ok you say yes, then you go out with him..."  
"Then get married have babies and live happily ever after!" interrupted Jean with a giggle.  
The other two just stared at her.  
"No" said Kitty disturbed.  
  
-------------------------

"I am like, so disturbed." Said Kitty disturbed.  
"I wouldn't say something like that, it makes me sound like I'm a ditz or something." Said the Redhead hotly.  
"But didn't you say something like that when you were in my room yesterday?" asked Amara with a smile.  
Jean gave her a look.  
"Calm down, do you want me to tell you the rest of the story or not!" Xavier said pointedly.  
"Sorry Professor." Said all three quietly.  
  
------------------------  
  
"Anyway." Kitty continued. "You say yes, he takes you out somewhere nice and then halfway through the meal you make a big scene, slap him, and then like storm out of the place!"  
Rogue sat and digested this plan.  
"Yew know, it just might work."  
"Thanks."  
"Ah might need help."  
"We'll be more than happy to help out." Said the other two.  
"Great, it's a date!"  
They then rose from the table and rubbed their hands. This was going to be fun!

Rogue scurried off in search of a hallway to conveniently bump into Remy from. She managed to be 'forced' into going with him to some fancy place. Both of them left the hall with a smile on their faces but for two totally different reasons. Then Rogue promptly went around to the other two and told them the good news.  
It was all on for Friday night, 8.30.  
They all chuckled and rubbed their hands again. Heh heh heh!  
But unbeknown to them Remy was also chuckling. Finally he had managed to charm Rogue enough to go out with him. He had even had the place booked up. This made his Friday night even better.  
In two days he would take her to fanciest French restaurant in Bayville, 'La Rue', have dinner, bring her back to the mansion before that pit bull Logan found out and then be back out the door and meeting Erica at her place.  
Then there was Sandra.  
And Rita.  
Who could forget Monica?  
And last but certainly not least Jessica.  
Oh yes Remy was a lucky boy. He had no doubts that he could juggle all SIX of those lovely ladies on Friday night, especially since he had done it a million times before.  
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in a polished wooden panel.  
"You be one smart boy Remy." As he made guns at himself.  
Then he swaggered cockily off, not realising that somebody had been listening to Remy's whole conversation with himself.  
  
---------------------  
  
"Yes that's right best beloved, that somebody had heard everything, from Rogue to how clever Remy was. And they thought of a plan themselves to pay back the Cajun for some of the things that he had done."  
"Wow! Who was it? Was it me?" asked Scott.  
"No Scott it wasn't you."  
"It must have been me." Piped up Kurt.  
"No Kurt."  
Bobby took in a breath.  
"No." Said Xavier wearily. "And no it wasn't one of the girls either. It's a surprise, Ok?"  
  
----------------------  
  
He plotted and plotted but finally gave up any serious plan making and became just what the girls needed best. An informant. Rogue did not of course take the news well. "What!" she roared. The informant trembled. He hadn't realised that Rogue was so scary when she was angry.  
"Ah'll fix that Swamp rat. He'll wish he was never born!"  
"Unless..." interrupted Kitty quietly.  
Rogue, the informant and Jean looked at her expectantly.  
"Well we could put it into our plan."  
"How?"  
"Well..." said Kitty with a smile.  
A new and vastly improved plan was put into action. The informant was sent to gather information and to recruit new and usefully members. He was glad to do so.

Two days later, Friday rolled around. And it was 8.30.  
Rogue dressed up to the nines. She wanted to really mess with the Cajun. And she wanted it to be good. Her support crew set up a little 'accident' in the jet hangar and Logan was safely diverted. An electrical fire, the authorities decided. And in true undercover fashion they all wore headsets and had rigged up a tiny wire and transmitter for Rogue so they could catch all the action. Remy wouldn't suspect a thing.  
And he didn't. He would have to agree that much could be said for the little black dress. But even more could be said for the red kind and black fishnet stockings.  
He really wanted to touch, but considering what would happen if he did, well, if he wasn't supposed to take her out he would have risked it. He would have said something too, if his mouth wasn't so damn dry and his tongue wasn't stuck to the roof of his mouth.  
  
----------------------  
  
"Will you stop giggling I'm trying to tell a story here!" Reprimanded the Professor.  
"Sorry Chuck." Giggled Logan.  
  
----------------------  
  
Remy made do with hand gestures and facial expressions. And then began to cry inside.  
And now he's crying inside. Laughed Jean evilly as she communicated telepathically with Rogue. Rogue smiled evilly in response.  
Damn! He thought. Now she's even hotter!  
He rubbed the back of his head. This was going to be one of the longest hour and a half's he had ever had. It would be depressing if he wasn't such a handsome devil and had five other very, lucky ladies to share his pain with.   
Jean relayed this information on to Rogue. Too bad for the Swamp rat... She thought. Even if he is kinda... cute.  
The two of them would have stood in the entrance hall for the entire time Remy had allotted for his date with Rogue if Kurt hadn't suddenly bamfed into the room.  
"He's coming!" He cried in a strangled voice.   
Kurt bamfed back out.  
The thought of Logan coming in and catching them, made the two would-be-lovers panic slightly and meant that they ended up in that attractively breathless kind of way on either side of Remy's motorcycle. They looked into each other's eyes. Well that was until Rogue quickly put on her helmet. Remy followed in a fashion.  
Boy, this is going to be a long hour and a half. They both thought as the bike moved out the gates and into the night.  
Meanwhile Logan stormed into the atrium. The elf had been here he could smell the brimstone. But there was something else. He sniffed the air carefully. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Then a strange feeling crept over him, something, 'wrong' had happened in this very spot. He stood for a while in thought. Kurt, He decided at last. Kurt would know what was going on, he always did. And if he wasn't mistaken Kitty, and most definitely Rogue had a hand in this too. So he went off to find them.  
And as all of this was happening, our friendly Informant was busy with the other part to Kitty's amazing plan. And it involved a mini-van...  
  
15 minutes later at La Rue...  
The waiter took the menus away with a bow and rushed of the order to the kitchen. He shook his head. It was bad enough that the stupid Cajun insisted on butchering the beautiful French language with the monstrosity he learnt in the South. But did he have to bring along is latest floozy? He snorted in that all-too-easy Gaelic way.  
Americans! The whole world, and especially America would be a better place if there where no Americans.  
He entered the kitchen.  
"He'z back" He sneered at the Chief.  
The Chief grunted angrily and shouted at an underling. Stupid, fussy Cajun. If one more meal comes back into this kitchen from that Yankee scum... thought the Chief. He was going to open up as they say in America, a can of wup-ass.  
The Stupid, Fussy Cajun smiled smarmily at Rogue over the top of the table and began to make conversation. Rogue rested her head on her hands and with a small difficulty, smiled back. The reality was she was staring to panic. No battle she had ever seen, had ever been as scary as this.  
I'll just have to wing it. She decided.  
So, she made conversation back.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion...

Kitty panting put a hand up against the hall wall. Jean stood doubled over next to her.  
"We have to get to the front gate soon, other wise we'll miss it." Jean gasped.  
Kitty nodded. Ideas raced through her head. And then smiled.  
"I have another idea."  
"What?" replied Jean intrigued.

"Where's the camcorder?"  
"Oh you are just too evil." Said Jean admiringly.

Back at 'La Rue'...  
Where are they? Panicked Rogue as the waiter poured Remy's wine.  
"And what would de Chere be lookin' for over dere?" asked Remy with a raised eyebrow. Rogue had been rather distracted. Her head whipped around to face him.  
"Huh! Nothin' Ah thought tha' Ah might have seen somebody tha' Ah knew."  
"Did you?"  
"No."  
Unfortunately, damn that stupid Swamp rat and his damn eyes. It was like they were boring into her soul, and he didn't even have the grace to speak in English the bastard! Who knew what he was saying to me! Thought Rogue in a near panic. I don't know if I can hold out much longer. I'm going to go nuts.  
Remy gave her an appraising look.  
"I tink dat de Chere has been a littl' preoccupied by someting. Someting, how should I say, underhand? But I can't quite figure out what. You know, I like that kind o' ting inna girl."  
He sat back in his chair and stared at her with a grin.

Rogue shifted in her seat. Those eyes again, where the hell were they! I don't know if I can go through with this anymore!

As the waiter turned to leave, he noticed that the young...lady looked rather worried. Perhaps she had suddenly realised what she had go herself caught up by fraternising with that Stupid, fussy Cajun, and all at once felt a little sorry for her. But only a little bit, she was an American after all.

On the other side of town...

Her Support Crew where at that very moment going through a small crisis of their own.  
"It's not here!" pouted Kitty  
"Vats not here?" Said Kurt suddenly.  
Kitty and Jean screamed.  
"How long have you been there!?" Demanded Jean.  
"Ze whole time."  
"You just, like sat there and watched us go through your stuff!"  
"Vell I was waiting for you to notice me here, but you didn't." said Kurt sadly.  
"It's not our fault this place is a mess!" growled Jean.  
"I'll clean it up." He signed.  
"You'd better."  
  
"If I recall correctly that is the exact thing you told me last weekend Kurt." Said Ororo archly.  
Xavier gave Ororo a quelling look. Then continued.  
  
----------------  
  
"I'd hate to butt in but where is the camcorder?" asked Kitty.  
"Oh, iz zat vat you are looking for? Piotr has zit."  
The two girls looked at each other and then dashed out of the room.  
And smack dab into Logan.  
"You kids have been up to somethin'. I know it." He said menacingly.  
"Us Mr. Logan? We haven't been doing anything."  
Logan merely grunted and narrowed his eyes.  
"I get th' feeling you three know about the hanger-bay. I'll find out you know..."

And with that turned to walk away.

The teens looked at each other.

"I hope the fire didn't damage much." Said Jean innocently.  
Logan paused. At eyed the three.

"I didn't say there was a fire." He said.

The three blinked. That wasn't good. Logan scowled as only he could and waved a finger at them. They were thankful it was only a finger.  
"If you three leave th' house without my permission, there's gonna be trouble. I'm going to find Chuck." He growled.

He walked off, feeling a little off his game.

The teens looked at each other again.

"Boy he must have been really mad. He didn't scream or stamp about like he usually did." Said Jean.

"No, I slipped him some sedatives in his coffee." Mumbled Kitty.

The other two absorbed this information.

"Vhy?"

"Well you know, so it slowed him down a little and he wouldn't sneak up on us as well... as he usually, does."

Jean looked at the two younger students.

"They'll probably have to restrain him when it wears off." She said carefully.

Kurt and Kitty nodded. Kitty decided that, maybe that particular idea might not turn out the way that she might have wanted it to.

Back in the restaurant and the candlelight...  
Remy continued to stare at her and Rogue had almost had enough. If those four and the mini-van were not here in the next minute she was just going to go ahead with the plan without them, and too bad if they missed out.  
He smiled at her. Something was most definitely going on with Rogue and he wanted to know why. So he asked her. Rogue gave him a look. A real mean one.

Ah ha! He thought with triumph. I know what her problem is. She always gets grumpy about stuff like that. He gave her a sly smile and raised a hand. The waiter appeared almost magically by his side.  
"Oui?" he asked barely containing his distain.  
Remy took a breath and was about to speak, but the waiter was, if not a bit haughty a very good one. Which meant he could predict his guest's needs with pin-point accuracy.  
"En route." Said the waiter shortly.  
He then turned stiffly and stalked off to the kitchen.  
They watched him go.  
"Ah'd say he's a bit uptight."  
"More dan a bit." Answered Remy with a laugh.  
Rogue joined in with the laughing, panicking inside her head.  
It was then that a mini-van pulled up outside and the occupants tumbled out and dashed inside.  
Finally! Rogue thought as their meals arrived. She sat and watched Remy. I wonder if he's was going to do the same thing to one of his other dates. Remy noticed her gaze and of course smiled. Rogue smiled back. A sound at the entrance of the restaurant alerted her and a quick glance confirmed her suspicions; the informant had indeed, come up with the goods. He stood with them in the doorway, with a very pleasant touch. A camcorder.  
She broke out into a huge smile and then winked at the waiter.  
Remy blinked.  
"Wa...?" He said confused.  
She waited just long enough to be given a thumbs up from the informant, and then with that she shot out of her seat, leant on the table and pointed an accusing finger at Remy.  
"Ah don't care if yew pay me 200 bucks, Ah am not going to sleep with yew tonight!" she yelled.  
This outburst naturally turned heads.  
Remy held up his hands in a reconciling manner.  
"Remy neva said anyting about 200 bucks..."  
"What, don't yew think Ah'm worth that!"  
The rest of the restaurant where enthralled.  
"Remy didn't..."  
"No, Remy ain't! Because Ah ain't that kinda girl!"  
And with that picked up her plate and ground it into his shirt.

There was silence. The waiter eyed her carefully.  
"Ahh mademoiselle..." He motioned to the tabletop.  
Rogue smiled at him and picked up the sprig of parsley and then carefully placed it on Remy. She stood back for a moment and then very carefully rearranged it.  
"Magnifique!" cried the waiter triumphantly.  
Then he disappeared into the kitchen. Rogue stood over Remy, arms akimbo.

"Ah found out about yew Swamp rat. So I organized this whole thang. Just fer yew."  
She waved her arm toward the group of women advancing upon them.  
"Ahh..." He squeaked.

"You cheating slime ball!"  
"You are so dead you worm!"  
"After I get through with you, your own mother wont recognise you!"  
Bellowed Rita, Sandra and Monica. Jessica merely cracked her knuckles. They advanced. The restaurant watched and the kitchen and wait staff placed bets. The informant loomed up behind Rogue. He still held the camcorder.  
"Are yew getting this?" she asked.  
The informant grinned evilly.  
"Da."  
She looked up at him and held out an arm.  
"Take me home Piotr!" she said grandly.  
As Piotr escorted her out the door she looked over her shoulder at the now cowering Remy.  
"Why Chere?" he asked plaintively as he ducked behind the table.  
"Yew don't learn do yew Swamp rat!"  
And then she left.  
  
---------------------  
  
"The End."  
The X-men sat in silence.  
"Is that all?" Asked Hank.  
"Mostly." Nodded Xavier.  
"Well then what's th' rest?" rumbled Logan.  
"Yeah, what happened to me and Kitty?" Said Jean questioningly.  
"Well..." began the Professor before he was interrupted by the door opening.  
Piotr walked in with Rogue on his arm. She had a camcorder.  
"Yew have to see this!" she cried.  
"Hey!" Bellowed Logan sitting bolt upright. "What th' hell are ya doin' inna dress like that!"  
He turned to Xavier.  
"Ya didn't tell me this was a true story!"  
"It must have slipped my mind." Said Xavier innocently.  
"All right I'm gonna kill that Cajun!"  
  
He got out of seat and headed for the door but stopped halfway and spun back around. He pointed at Kitty, Jean and Kurt.  
"You, you...!" He rasped terribly, struggling with many emotions at once.  
"Eeep!" The three cried, hugging each other.  
Logan was just about to lunge at them when Xavier raised an admonishing hand.  
"Calm down Logan. They will be punished. But we can sort that all out in the morning. But first we have a video to watch."

Logan stared but sat down on the sofa arm and a muscle in his face twitched. He really would have liked to tear them apart, but like Chuck had said... It couldn't hurt to watch a bit of the video first.

When it was over and everyone had managed to pick themselves back up off the floor and dry their tear stained cheeks, many of course wanted to watch it again. But Xavier could sense that his stories were going to be on soon and wanted to rid the room of small people as he had originally intended. Morals and Life improving sayings, that's what this situation called for, he decided.

"Early to bed and early to rise make a man wealthy, healthy and wise." He said knowingly.

Those who weren't coughing looked at him.

"What?" Said Scott.

"A stitch in time saves nine." Quoted Xavier with a slight smile.

"Huh?" Said Bobby, confused.

"One swallow does not a summer make." Stated the Professor smoothly.

The X-men all looked at each other. What was the Professor on?

"Stop picking at it or it wont get better!" Commanded Charles.

Ororo gave Xavier a funny look.

'Are you feeling alright Charles?" She asked cautiously.

"Cleanliness is next to godliness." He replied cheerily.

Ororo gave Charles another funny look and then began ushering people out the door; she really worried about the Professor at times. She exchanged worried looks with Hank.

"Is..." She started.

"If you feel stressed, do something different like roll up your sleeves or eat an orange." Cried the Professor happily as he waved goodbye to her.

That was enough for Ororo, she decided to leave whatever was bothering Charles to a professional, as in Hank. Hank watched her go.

"There isn't anything wrong, is there Charles?" He asked as he turned around to face Xavier.

He then smiled, of course how could he have been so silly...

And promptly sat down on the sofa, next to Charles and joined him in watching his stories.

---------------------  
  
Not long after, a miserable Remy slunk back to the mansion. He had feigned death and they became tired and moved away. They said something about going clubbing. Then they laughed like Remy didn't matter at all. That part had hurt the most.  
It was dark inside the mansion. He guessed that everyone was in bed asleep. He paused at the top of the stairs. A light was on in one of the common rooms, he peaked around the door. The room was dark and empty save for the TV, which was still on some home improvement channel. He changed it over to the Soap opera channel. Maybe some Young and The Restless would cheer him up.  
It would have had, if that was what Remy was now watching.  
Before him, Rogue hit him with a plate of chicken and then a mob of angry woman hit him with their handbags. He groaned and held his head in his hands. An understanding hand landed on his shoulder.  
"It's all right, we all have embarrassing moments. Trust me everyone would have forgotten by this morning." Said Hank in an understanding manner.  
"Really?" asked the bewildered Cajun.  
"No."  
And with that Hank walked out of the room, laughing his head off. Then all through out the mansion, eagerly listening people also began to laugh.  
Remy narrowed his eyes.   
"Jean-Luke was right!" He spat. "Too many of de femmes spoil de night!"  
Then with a growl he stormed down the hallway and to his room. He was never going to do anything like that ever again. Well at least not for a while...

Remy was put on probation and told to curb his drinking. He did for a while, just as he promised. But he soon turned back to his old ways. Funnily enough he gave Rogue a wide berth for an amazing fourteen and a half days. A record, which surprised everyone.  
  
Kurt was put on detail duty for a month.  
  
'Fifi' the X-jet was cleaner than she had been for a long time.  
  
Most of this was because Jean, Kitty and Rogue had to help Kurt with detailing duty.  
  
After some alone time, Logan actually was in a good mood for three whole days in a row. Another record that surprised everyone.  
  
Everyone else watched the video at least a dozen times over and couldn't for a week look at Remy with out cracking up or see Rogue without patting her on the back.  
  
But Hank was right. It did miraculously fade from people's memories. This may have been due to the explosions that Remy had absolutely nothing to do with. I swear.  
  
Piotr came into a lot of money because of that night's events. He subsequently bought something he always wanted. An iguana, which soon after escaped...

But that is another story.


End file.
